User blog:Roinelll/The "C" Files
Summary These Shorts will appear roughly at each Sunday, or a day close to them. Should one of the Shorts conclude a new one will be started in place, there are quite a few of them actually :V ---- Clothes ---- Lexa : C, Did you have to reveal your infection in that weird way to everyone? C : But it felt soo good to finally have my skin breathe Lexa : And that is why you had been labaled as an exhibitionist C : ... Really?! ---- Lexa : Here, here, here and here... What can you tell me about these? C : That you are a good photograph? Lexa : You were going around half naked, AGAIN!! C : It's not like there is anything to see, no? ---- Lexa : Do you even consider yourself human anymore? C : I'm a female, but if there is nothing to see then what's the point? Lexa : C... you... Just don't prance around half naked at all will you? C : But... The clothes are annoying. You can't imagine how horrible they feel just to wear them. ---- Lexa : Ah right, C... you're much like an Aragami. C : Mass of Oracle Cells, not Aragami... I don't have a core, thank you very much... Lexa : Ah, I'm so-- ... Wait, did I struck a nerve there? C : No, why would you? I mean it's not like ANYONE can understand what it is like ... meh forget it... ---- Licca : I've overheard the conversation and C, I might just have the solution for it. C : No. Lexa : Wait, C... She just offered for you a way out of your problem. C : I'm not going to put THAT on. ---- Lexa : Put what on? Licca : A dress for Shio, I think C would be able to wear is also. C : Never... Licca : Just give it a try, will you? ---- Lexa : Put what on? Licca : A dress for Shio, I think C would be able to wear is also. C : Never... Licca : Just give it a try, will you? ---- Lexa : Shio? That Aragami girl? C : Yes, and I will NOT wear that ridiculous dress. Licca : I see... well, have fun running around naked then. C : ... ---- Licca : Listen up C, even if you think it's ridiculous, just put it on for measure. Lexa : Exactly, if it does bother you wearing it or not. We will know that way what to expect. Licca : Then I can make something that would fit you, even you can give me the design, okay? C : ... ---- C : You're just planning to have a laught at me, don't you?! Lexa : C, You're already making yourself laughable by your habit of... prancing around half naked sometimes. Licca : Here, try it on... P-L-E-A-S-E? C : 300.000.000 Fc. ---- Lexa & Licca : Huhh?! Lexa : C?! You're kidding, right?! Licca : Sure, after you put it on. C : Advance payment or you can forget it. ---- Licca : ... Okay, then I ask you some time to collect it. C : Then it's 500.000.000 Fc, and it will increase by 100.000.000 every hour! Lexa : C, admit it you're just afraid to wear it, that it would look good on you. C : N-No! I-I'm not afraid, i-it just looks HORRIBLE! ---- Vision ---- Matthias : C, are you really blind? C : Of course, I do not have eyes. If you do not call that blind, what would you... hmm? Matthias : C... you're using a freaking terminal right now, even browsing it! C : For that I need my hands duh, not my vision... ---- Matthias : You know exactly what I meant right there, how can you see it if you are blind? C : I'm using these? Matthias : Your ... Horns?! That makes even LESS sense... C : It's the truth, I don't have a reason to lie. ---- Matthias : Then explain it to me, so that I can understand it. C : I'm having a vision of my surroundings that is generated by receiving resonance with my Horns. Matthias : ... Uhm... What? C : They function similarly to a radar. ---- Matthias : So... what do your Aragami like organs resembling... your eyes do then, if they cannot see? C : Oracle Detectors. Matthias : As in? C : In my vision I can pick up the faintest traces of Oracle Cells and their movements. ---- Matthias : So... that means? C : I have the ability to predict my enemies moves, simple as that. Matthias : Predict? You're seeing into the future? C : How would predicting mean seeing into the future?! ---- Matthias : Just talk straight will you then?! C : Is it my fault that you can't even remember or understand the simplest and straightforward things? Matthias : Except you NEVER talk straight... C : You're asking the wrong questions. ---- Matthias : Then what would be the 'right' question? C : That would be 500.000 Fc. Matthias : What?! Why?! I mean... nevermind. C : I'm waiting. ---- Matthias : You know perfectly well that I do not have that much. C : Exactly. Matthias : That's evil... You're Evil! C : I'm just me. ---- Matthias : Does your Vision have weakpoints? C : Of course it has. Matthias : And since you're not followin with an explanation... Are you expecting me pay up? C : That, or if you manage to build a sentence that corresponds to it perfectly. ---- Matthias : Are you making fun of me? C : I'm answering to the questions you make, without charging you. Does that sound like making fun of you? Matthias : Okay, okay... Let me think then... C : You have all the time in the world, though doubt you'll make a suitable request. ---- Matthias : I KNEW IT! You're making fun of me! C *Scratches chin* : 2.000.000 Fc. For everything you asked me so far. Matthias : ... I'm sorry! I can't pay that! I'm thinking, I'm thinking okay?! C *Eerie smile* : The next time you mess up, it will be 10.000.000 Fc. So, think carefully. ---- Shower ---- Kata : C, I don't want to be rude... but, do you occasionally shower? C : Of course I do, when I need to calm myself down. Kata : And ... when was the last time you needed to take one? C : 2 months, 21 days, 17 hours, 42 minutes, 18 seconds and ticking. ---- Kata : Then go and have one! C : Why should I? I'm perfectly calm. Kata : You stink... Really badly. How can you even endure it yourself? C : Stink? What's that? ---- Kata : God... Did you nose get used to your horrible smell?! C : Nose? ... Oh. I see now what is the problem here. Kata : Then would you stop grinning and mind telling me? C : I don't have a nose. Simple as that. ---- Kata : GO AND HAVE A SHOWER! C : Bu-- Kata : No 'buts', do it! C (~_~) : 'Kay. ---- Female GE #1 *Her scream echoes at the showers* Female GE #2 : Hey, what happened?! Is everything allright? Female GE #1 : C-c-cold... Female GE #2 : Excuse me? ---- Female GE #1 : I opened the valve and got hit by THAT ice cold stream. Female GE #2 *pokes into the still running cold shower and pulls back her arm shivering* Female GE #1 : Just who was the idiot to pull such a prank?! I could kill the one responsible. Female GE #2 : Actually... wasn't it your fault to just open the water and not check the temperature? ---- Female GE #3 : Have you heard about #1? She went to have a shower and got hit by a cold stream. Female GE #4 : Upon measuring the water, it turned out to be around minus 30 Celsius. Female GE #5 : I didn't even know that the showers temperature can be set so low. Female GE #1 : I can hear you girls! ---- Female GE #2 : Now now #1, relax. Also, normally the lowest temperature it can be set is to 10 Celsius. Female GE #4 : So... someone managed to set a temperature outside the normal boundary? Female GE #1 : If I find out who did that I'm going to put the one responsible under it for a whole minute. Female GE #3 : You're pretty bloodthirsty, aren't you? ---- C : What is that about the shower I set? Female GE #1 : You... C?! Female GE #4 : Makes sense, she has extensive knowledge over many things. Female Ge #1 : C! That was a horrible prank! I'm going to stick you underneath it as punishment!! ---- C : Am I... Stinking that much? Female GE #5 : You do not have a bad odor. Just... you made #1 really angry with that. C : Then why do I need another shower? I already had one close to an hour. All Female GE's : ... ---- Female GE #1 : An... Hour? As... in 60 minutes? C : Well, it was exactly 3.512 Seconds, which is 58 minutes and 32 seconds. Female GE #4 : That's not the point... You spent that long underneath the cold shower? C : Why are you looking at me like that? ---- Relationship ---- Tina : Say, say say. Do you have someone you have really really strong feelings for? C : What do you mean with that? Tina : You know... Love, do you uhm... love someone? C : Oh that... Yes, I do. ---- Tina : Okay... since I know you have a lot of weird quirks, can you describe me what love is? C : When you want to be someone, do things with him that would make you feel euphoric. This stuff... no? Tina : Soooo, who is he? How does he look? He has to have a lot of money right, right? C : Dunno, we never met eye to eye. However he should wish that never comes to pass... ---- Tina : But... Wait... I think you misunderstood something... C : I would love to kill that guy. Isn't this what you meant? Tina : *Sigh* You and your quirks... Never cease to amaze me... C : Okay, so then what did you have in mind then? ---- Tina : Love is ... (Insert various lenghty speech that C ignored) C : So 'love' is 'hate' I get it. Tina : No... C... You're doing this on purpose aren't you? C : Why would I? You just said yourself in short you love to hate and hate to love. ---- Tina : You... Ah well, let's forget it. There is noone you would consider a soulmate is it? C : Not like I want one to be honest. Tina : Why? And don't talk nonsense about being a loner. That's just not how humans work... C *points at her head* : Khm... I am 'THE' perfect example of a human being, right? ---- Tina : But... there should be someone who would love to get in a closer relationship with you. C : There's noone like that. Besides... ah, forget it. Tina : C. You're giving up before even starting?! That's not the stubborn schemer I know. C : You don't know anything. ---- Tina : But... there should be someone who would love to get in a closer relationship with you. C : There's noone like that. Besides... ah, forget it. Tina : C. You're giving up before even starting?! That's not the stubborn schemer I know. C : You don't know anything. ---- Tina : Then tell me everything. C : 750.000.000.000 Fc. Tina (o.O) : Ah... Uhm... I meant... about your preferences in love? C : I don't have any as I said earlier. ---- Tina : Aw come on! You must have to have something you want. Please C, just for my sake? C : ... You're not going to let me go until you get that out of me do you? Tina : Exactly! C : You're incorrigible. ---- Tina : Okay, I'm going to make this simple for you... I'm going to ask questions and you're going to asnwer, deal? C : Whatever... Tina : C, take this seriously! C : Alright. Ask then. ---- Tina : Would you prefer your mate to be have a height same as you? C : I think you missed a step before that. Tina : OH?! What did I miss? C : That my preferance would be male or female, no? ---- Tina : ... Ah... uhm... and that would be? C : Male, naturally. Tina *shouting in anger* : THEN WHY DID YOU BRING THAT UP?! C : You said to tackle this in all seriousness, and that would be the first question then, no? ---- Hobby ---- Robert : C, do you have any hobbies? C : I'm an information broker, knowledge is everything to me Robert : Then you know about games and how to play them right? C : You want to challenge me? Sure, but I'll warn you I am undefeated so far in anything I've started. ---- Robert : Then it's on! I challenge you to a game of Duel Masters then! C : Never heard of it, I need to prepare for it first. Robert : As long as you want to. C : Then tomorrow here, at the same time and place. ---- Robert : So, C time's up. Prepare yourself to be defeated! C : Not now... I'm still not finished making a deck. Robert : Maybe I can help, what's the problem? C : The rules don't allow me a 792 card Deck... ---- Robert : 7-- 792?! Of course they do not allow, only 40... C : But why is that?! I need these cards... All of them... Robert : C... can you show me the cards? C : Sure, I have 790 different ones that I want to use. Here they are. ---- Robert *takes a look at the card arranges them into 3 decks with 40 cards each and hands them back* C : Actually you could have make 7 different decks from that pile but this works also Robert : ... C just pick one of them will you?! C *pulls out a different deck* : Then I'll go with this one. ---- Robert : You actually had a 40 card deck?! Why did you go through with the trouble then?! C : To check how knowledgeable you are. Simple as that. Robert : C... you're a pain in the... ah let's get ready to rumble then. C : I'm going to warn you once again, I've yet to lose at any game I started. ---- Robert : There is no such thing as a perfect record. At one time everyone is bound to lose. C : You don't have to believe me then. It's your choice after all, yet that is the truth. Robert : Oookay, well then let's swap and shuffle decks. Robert and C exchange decks and begin to shuffle them. ---- Robert : C... You've... been shuffling the deck for an hour already. It's fine now. C : It still requires 7.926 more to be perfectly randomized. Robert : ... You... C : Be patient, I'm don't want to mess up and restart it, okay? ---- C *Shuffling the deck, 3 hours passed roughly* Robert *Yawns* : Are you done yet? C : You've asked this 26 times already, I still require 4 minutes and 34 seconds. Robert : Yes... ---- C : I'm finished, however you've only shuffled my deck 5 times, do that 11.000 times at least. Robert : WHAT?! C : Until you perform another 10.995 more shuffles I'm going to wait. Robert : You're kidding me?! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!! ---- C : I am dead serious. Robert : ... That makes me think... How many games did you start so far? C : 6.124, why? I am meticulous, but I complete each one of them. Robert : ... Ungh... Okay, Then I'll start shuffling... ---- Work ---- C *looks at her ringing telephone and declines the call C *looks at it again and finally blocks the caller C *sees an unknown number and accepts the call Unknown : DID YOU JUST BLO-- *Gets blocked by C again* ---- Jack : Didn't knew there would be something you say no to. Didn't you say you have a price for everything? C : That idiot wouldn't be able to pay up, so it's fine. Jack : ... Can I ask what did he request from you? C : B-W-H. ---- Jack : So... who exactly was that guy who you rejected? C : Lyrr... But he didn't really just stop there, he wanted to know something else too. Jack : ... Should I dare to ask? C : Then how much will it cost for you to *******, *******, ******...... ---- Jack *Facepalms* C : I told that pervert the price and he slammed the phone down. Jack *Heavy sigh* C : Would you like to know the price I've set? ---- Jack : No, forget it... C : Aw, okay. Jack : And why are you looking down now? C : Because it would have cost you a couple hundred thousand Fc to get that info. ---- Jack : You never cease to think on credits, do you?! C : Of course not, do you ever cease to breath until your eventual death? Jack : Did you just compare breathing to your greed?! C : It is not greed, it's merely self preservation. ---- Jack : Self preservation? How can that be an issue of self preservation?! C : Money makes the world go round, ain't it? That is classified as self preservation then. Jack : You're... Why do charge so much for your informations always? C : Because they are 100% correct, and I do not provide false ones. ---- Jack : You can't always be correct, or provide only the truth always. C : Up till now I managed to do it, and I will continue that in the future aswell. Jack : ... What are you doing with your money anyways? I never see you spend it. C : That is only for me to know. ---- Jack : So you do not tell lies, but hold secrets, eh? C : What's your point? Jack : Quite simple, if you withhold an information that would otherwise change the outcome, that's only half-truth. C : But that's still not a lie. ---- Jack : We call that a White-lie. C : If someone does misunderstood it, it's not my problem. Jack : How so? C : The information I reveal is gathered by me, however it's not only possible for me to gather. ---- Jack : So your saying, that for the price they pay you, the amount of information released is correct. C : Exactly! If they can't pay me enough, then only the corresponding level of info is shared. Jack : You're a greedy, evil, schemer. C : I'm just me... Why are you always calling me that? ---- Taste ---- C : Uhm, what are those? Canon : Cookies, I've just baked them, would you like to try? C : Disgusting... Canon (T~T): Huh?! B-but... Everyone LIKES my cookies!! ---- C : Really? How can anyone like such a tasteless thing. Canon : It's not tasteless! Then tell me what do you prefer! C : Something like Alisa's cooking, those are quite good if I have to say it. Canon (O~o) : You ... Like her cooking?! B-but... Why?! HOW?! ---- C : What do you mean how? It has a great flavour. Canon (0_0) : C... You... are weird. C : Hey, it's not my problem that I'm unable to taste anything else... Canon : Unable to taste? Is your infection the problem here? ---- C : Come to think of it maybe, so... What are the others reactions to your cooking? Canon : Everyone likes them, that's why... I was surprised at your reaction C : ... And Alisa's? Canon (^^)" : Uhm... well... Normally they try to avoid her cooking, because it's dangerously bad. ---- C : Alisa is happy that I eat her cooking. Canon : I... can actually understand that. C : Of course she refused to taste mines. Canon (O.o)" : You... can cook?! ---- C : What do you take me for? Of course I can cook. Canon : Uhm... You're not going to be angry if I refuse to taste it? C : Why should I? It had a horrible taste to admit it. Canon (O_O) : You... tried to make Alisa eat something that even you considered to taste bad? ---- C : Even Alisa tries to make her food eat with anyone, what's with the problem? Canon : B-but... If... I don't know how to explain. C : I'm not going to get mad, just say that I am unable to cook. I'm not going to get angry. Canon : If you can't cook, why do you do it then? ---- C : Practice makes perfect, does it not? Canon : That is true, however... if you can't feel the flavour how do you know it's bad? C : Because it is? Canon : Can I see the recipe that was used? ---- C *after getting to her room, she hands over a recipe* : There you go, I followed this perfectly and it turned out miserably. Canon *writes her own at the back of the recipe* : Can you cook this in front of me? C : Sure? I can, why? Canon : I'm curious. ---- C : I will then, but first tell me your reason. Canon : You called my cookies disgusting, and your owns horrible. C : What are you implying Canon? Canon : You might be a good cook... Only your sense of taste is... misleading you, I think. ---- C : Maybe? I think it's a complete failure, but... let's make something simple then. Canon : I'm going to observe the procedure and let you work, okay? C *makes a few cookies based on Canon's recipe while she is watching in... awe* Canon *looks at the deformed lumps of charcoal* : ... Are... C, are you sure... that you followed everything to the letter? ---- Upcoming Shorts Children, Allies, Pet, Enemies, Infection, Sleep, Operator, God Eater, Aragami Category:Blog posts Category:Fanfic